You hit the nail on the head RAL. I choose to drink everytime and itsi usually a split second decision. They said at AA you have to want sobriety more than anything in the world or it won't happen. You will miss the boat. I don't even do morning devotions. As for payday it's like I am secretly counting down the days. One good thing is that I am out of money already. I can't live on bread and butter again. I hope that I don't spend the food money again what's left of it.