But in the past I’ve allowed myself to idealise drinking, to forget the reality and pretend to myself that it’s fun, it helps me relax, it’s what EVERYONE else does, I deserve it, it’ll be fine this time, I’ll just drink one night then go back to sobriety
I've spoken of my sister in laws drinking as well as my brother in law. (We spend a lot of time together). At dinner Sunday, my sister in law was again plastered by 8 pm. Forgetful, slurring, wobbly. It's getting worse and it's not that she is drinking more, it just seems to hit her much harder and faster. its getting concerning, well to me anyway. Her husband and others are trying to figure out how to control her drinking so she can stay awake longer!
Then my brother in law was talking about how he had too much the night before but asked his 14 year old daughter how his driving was on the way home.
This is the "fun" I used to be part of. If this is normal, I'd rather be different.
On another note, when is it time to step in and say something about someone else's drinking. I fear for my sister in laws health. She is showing signs of liver function failure (I think). I try to talk of the benefits to me of quitting (only when asked, don't want to be a preacher) only to get the response, "that's great for you(no sincerity), but there's no way in hell I'm quitting".