Hearthealth, set up the financial side as a project. It's amazing how it can focus you if you have a goal. It can also make the present much more bearable because there's an end it sight.
I have some knowledge and dare I say expertise in frugal living, and there is also a lot of info online. PM me if you want more info. Do this in conjunction with legal advice.
You can ask him to leave, but remember it's his home too, so he would have the right to refuse. Possibly the best course would be to agree on a separation, that it's not working for either of you. You never know, he may be feeling the same way.
Do you think marriage counselling with a view to separation could help?