I was unhappy too, for a long time. And there's no need to explain how much misery that alcoholism has caused you and your family - they understand it very clearly due to your actions, so did mine.
You say you are desperate - what exactly do you mean by that? Are you willing to take action and follow some of the advice you've been given here? If not, you can expect more of the same. I'd suggest re-reading this thread that you started right before Christmas as it contains a wealth of good advice on how you might go about making some change in your life
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-solution.html (What is the solution?)