trailmix

Imagine that all you want is a drink. You want a drink you need a drink, where is the drink!! Even if you have one, why are all these people milling around looking at me like i'm supposed to be doing something or being cheerful, I just want to drink in peace and quiet (or with my music blasting).

Oh, here she comes, I'll smile at her and say something nice and MAYBE she will stop looking at me like I'm supposed to do something. Ok, did that, no happy response, wth is wrong with her?

searching4shay, this is just a possibility of what he is thinking. He wants to drink and really anything else is just getting in the way.

I would suggest as the others mentioned, start planning your escape. If nothing else, plan how you can cope living there, this is so hard on you and your children. While he may have behaved - mostly - around the children, they know, they see it, they hear it and those are the xmas memories they will have. Not trying to be harsh or "blaming" but that is the reality and anything else is just wishful thinking.

So, perhaps an idea, if you have the room in your house, is to set up a "man cave" for him if he's open to the idea. Something that will give everyone some space. A garage is an option as well if you have room. Some heating and a comfy place for him to sit and stream sports or play music and drink.

If that's not viable you can perhaps work on getting physical distance yourself? A place where you and the kids can escape to - a tv room in the basement perhaps?

There are no "good" answers here, unfortunately and I'm really sorry you find yourself in this situation.

You know, I get the waiting for something to happen to make that decision for you, unfortunately that may never happen and this will just go on and on for years.

I really hope you take dandylion's suggestion and reach out for support from your local domestic violence group.

I hope you keep posting here as well.