I’m struggling with the I can’t live with him, I can’t live without out him. I don’t always want to be around him but if I leave and go places without him, I worry he will drink to much, the dogs will pee and poop everywhere and he will just be getting drunk and gaming. I worry he will have liver failure or a heart attack. I used to worry about him cheating but I don’t really care much about that anymore. In the 10 years I’ve been with him I can only name 2 times where he drank until he threw up and passed out....but there have been many many times where it severely altered his personality and behavior and now when I hear that in his voice I just can’t stand being around him....even if he is being nicer than usual. For the most part when he isn’t drunk he is irritable. I feel like the only time I could actually relax is if I left. Had my one place and didn’t worry about him. I financially can’t do that right now. And at 44 years old it’s a hard choice to make.