What am I doing?!?
The last few days have been miserable. I fought to make it good, but AH was determined to destroy it. He behaved appropriately for the most part when the kids were around or when we were with family, but when they weren't the beast quickly returned. The kids caught on, especially last night when he realized he was going to run out of alcohol and every place was closed. I'm still not sure how he went through everything he bought, but I guess he did. For my own sanity I stopped monitoring that awhile back.
I don't understand how he can be an absolute jerk, but then turn around and say something nice and act like he's given me a gift to be grateful for by being nice for a split second but then get angry when I don't act appreciative. Is this typical alcoholism or yet another psychological issue? I can't count the number of times this happened over the past few days or the constant Jekel and Hyde behavior.
I know my options, but at the moment every single one of them sucks. I am just so very sad right now. Something has to change, I'm not ready to make that happen though, so I keep hoping something else will make the decision for me.