I feel your pain and am in a similar situation. I used to think that standing by my man and going for another round after the lies , disrespect and disgusting drunk nights. That if I stuck it out he would see my strength and do his part to provide and do right for himself and us. But of course not. Someone who doesn't have a clear mind or the will to give a **** about themselves will never give a **** about you. Unless you leave them with nothing but their own sick self. It's a mind game for me because when my ABF and I have good days I used to get my hopes up, now I just feel like I'm living a fake life some days are good but others are so awful I wish I could disappear forever. I've realized since he is not seeking help for recovery nothing will change and this will be my future if I don't take action and get out before my life is up and wasted on a drunk. Best of luck to you. I really hope that spark goes off in your husbands mind and he realizes living like That is not worth living at all.