Hi Jk4, in my only experience with an alcoholic , whom I recently divorced, is that he was selfish. Everything revolved around him. I sometimes wondered if my XAH was on drugs as well as alcohol because like you sometimes he had only a few beers and would be slurring his speech and staggering. Who knows, I didnt stick around to figure that part out as the beers and vodka were enough. My XAH was on his phone and IPad playing some game constantly and spending money on it but we both made our own money and didn’t share finances so I dont know the extent of what he spent but I am guessing quite a bit. Hope it gets better for you but honestly the only thing that it made it better for me was leaving. It was a tumultuous 10 years I was with him.