Welcome, Jk4. You may find things a little bit slow here, seeing as it's Christmas, but it's usually a very active board, so please don't get discouraged if by chance you don't get a lot of replies right away.
First, let me say that you absolutely have the right to feel whatever you feel. If you are frustrated (and who wouldn't be, in the situation you describe?), then you are frustrated. Our feelings are what they are, and can never be wrong. The
actions that we take, based on those feelings, may be wrong, though, and that's where SR can help you.
Next, let me suggest that you begin by educating yourself about alcoholism and addiction. We have a member here who often tells newbies that “knowledge is power”, and she is absolutely right. A good start for that is simply by reading around this forum as much as you can. At the top of the page are what we call "the stickies", which are threads that are felt to be so useful that they've been "stuck" to the top of the page so they are always visible and accessible. Here are links for the stickies, in case you aren’t able to see this section on your phone or computer (sometimes people can’t):
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...sts-first.html (Are you new to this forum? Please browse thru these posts first.) https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-recovery.html (About Recovery)
Read other member's posts in the threads in this section, and don't be shy about replying if something resonates w/you or if you have a question. In my experience, those who get the most from this forum are those who are the most actively involved.
Another valuable resource is your local Alanon meeting. For me, Alanon and SR were a powerful combination in the earlier days of my own recovery. I love SR (clearly, b/c I still read and sometimes post here almost 6 years after I first came) but a face-to-face Alanon meeting can offer in-person support that an online forum simply can't. I'm fortunate enough to live in an area where there are many, many meetings to choose from; hopefully you'll be equally lucky.
For me, the point where things began to really turn around was when I finally accepted that there was simply no way I could control anyone else, and that in fact I had no right to do so. The only person I had any control over (or should even
try to have any control over) was myself. It seems mighty counter-intuitive, I know, and it took me some time and a lot of hard knocks to get there.
Stop. Back up. Take a breath, and then another. I know it feels like your world is flying apart and nothing makes sense. There is help for you, though, and you can indeed be happy and at peace even though it seems impossible right now. Do some of the reading I suggested. Get thee to an Alanon meeting as soon as you possibly can. Gradually you’ll start to see your way forward.
SR is a fantastic resource, full of so many who’ve walked that path in all its variations. I hope you continue to come around, b/c there is so much learning and healing to be had here.