For me, it took a negative consequence to make me fully committed to never being in that place again. Today, I deliberately take steps to maintain my mental health and not get in that place where the F its take over and numbing myself down is the best solution. I NEVER want to be there again. As others have said, I made my sobriety the most important thing in my life right now. When will that stop being the priority? I don't know. Maybe never, we'll see. But for today when I start down any of the paths that will take me to a drink I do something or somethings to take care of myself. I stay busy. I try to be helpful and get outside of myself. I wanted to be sober and in recovery for a while, but today I WANT to be sober and in recovery, and my resolve is that nothing is going to knock me off of that. If I can continue on the path I'm on, not drinking again will far and away be the most significant accomplishment of my life. To some that might sound sad and pathetic. It is what it is. I'm proud of the steps I'm taking and the changes I'm making. My goal is to come out of all this as a person I would be proud to call a friend and a partner. I had to like myself again, I hadn't for a long, long time. I do today. I don't like a lot of the things I've done, but I have peace in knowing I'm not doing them today. SR helps me a lot. I pray a lot. I take care of me, and I also know that whatever the negative thing or things are that my AV is using to tell me a drink will help, I know this too, shall pass.