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Old 12-23-2018, 06:14 AM   #11 (permalink)
Eddiebuckle
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Greensboro, NC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuddenlyISee View Post
I read about so many women with similar situations as me, and they seem to be able to make it work. Why do they stay?
Hi SIS,

I don't know what or where you are reading, but is it possible that examples you refer to are outliers and not the norm? I too grew up in an alcoholic household and it's amazing to see how my upbringing shaped/shapes how I perceive situations and relationships. One of those things is the tendency to compare my insides (how I feel and fear) with everyone else's outsides (how others appear to be).

Perhaps other questions could help: what do you value most, what do you want, and how much are you willing to sacrifice to get or keep them?

Two of the insights I have found in recovery:
  • I cannot make someone else understand or want to get sober
  • When I care more about someone else's sobriety than they do, I have put myself in an impossible situation where I can be of almost no use to them and they have almost infinite power over me.
Our lives are precious, fragile and short. How we choose to spend our days is the most important choice we make.
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