Hello. I've had a really hard time lately with sobriety and in an attempts to do any good and distract myself I decided to come here and talk about cigarettes because that was one of the biggest addictions I ever had.
It started when I lived in Barcelona, Spain at age 18. It was casual but quickly became habitual. The long and the short of it: I smoked over a pack a day for the next 15 years.
I loved to smoke. If it weren't so bad for you, I'd be doing it right here right now as I write this post. It IS bad for you, however, very bad- not to mention expensive. At any rate, at the age of 33 I decided to quit.
That may have been the hardest thing I did. It took a whole year before I felt normal and didn't think about cigarettes. Now I never think about them under any circumstances. No matter how stressful or joyful the occasion , it never enters my mind to smoke.
Then, two years later at the age of 35, I started to get into wine. I didn't see it coming but I was picking up another addiction. I was especially blindsided because I had been a normal social drinker for many years with no problem. Yet before you knew it I was consuming more than a bottle of wine every night. That lasted for 10 years until recently where I've managed to put somewhat of a stopgap in the whole thing.
I would love to get to that same point where I don't even think about drinking- the same way I am now with cigarettes. Yet I feel like the distance between here and there is so vast. Moreover it may be impossible if only because the socialization of alcohol is so strong.
I really don't know. I guess defeatism isn't helpful. I'm just grappling very strong with the AV this holiday. It just tells me it's not worth fighting. But I know that voice. I remember it with cigarettes. I know it's possible.
Anyways, I'm just rambling here. I feel like such a useless failure as of late because I have been drinking. I thought I'd come here to a place where I've actually had some success and while I'm trying to help myself, maybe help some others in the process.
So I'll see ya around the smoking section and if there's anything I can do in regards to someone struggling to quit, please feel free to reach out. It's good to feel useful. Seeya
