I'd like to clear the air and say that I very much appreciate everyone's advice... I don't wish to fall out over misunderstandings. I respect everyone here. I just didn't like the gloomy warnings. Even if you didn't mean it that way... I took it that way because I was feeling happy and so it felt like a big contrast against the way I was looking at things.
I know there are rocks in the pool ...I know it isn't all plain sailing or going to be but I'm a good swimmer and I'm a better swimmer now knowing I don't need to rely on my boyfriend to support me and light me up ... one of my habits for years (in pretty much all previous romantic relationships) was relying on a boyfriend to make me feel whole and safe. Influenced by too many romantic fairytale movies growing up no doubt... and a lack of stability in the family household... but now I see that yes I'm big romantic but I'm enjoying giving myself all the love now... !
And funnily enough, my boyfriend is making changes without me needing him to... he's drying out, going to bed early, yoga'ing every morning and reading Brene Brown lol would never have seen that coming. He's typically a very stubborn person who doesn't like to do anything unless it comes from him... (this was always very maddening and why I got so enmeshed in his problems) ... i wanted to control him but now he's pretty much following all the stuff I'm into... ?! How do we explain that? !
Perhaps it's down to loving myself, genuinely... letting go of resentments... and reminding myself that I fell for someone who is a good person and does want to get better.
If we outgrow each other then what will be will be. I will not always feel this way... sometimes panic and fear will hit me, but it's a good thing I got you all, Abraham Hicks and yoga to help keep me clear.
x