Originally Posted by
lostinjersey1 
I assume feels no emotion because the alcohol numbs him, so in a way, he DOESN’T have to deal with the pain of us ending. Am I selfish? I WANT him to feel the pain. It’s not fare that its all on me. He gets to escape it.
Alcoholic here, so I'll reply from that perspective. We may drink to avoid pain, but we don't escape it. It returns, and in our failure to cope with it, we drink, yet again. A terrible cycle. And you don't know what pain your alcoholic feels. Could there be something in his past fueling his drinking? Some trauma? Some great shame?
So don't say alcoholics don't feel...we feel. We just don't deal with feelings very well.
As for being selfish. It's not selfish to start looking after your own well being. And it seems that is where your relationship is.