Cry,
I didn't really start losing my mind until about 90 days to 8 months sober. That is when a different struggle ramped up.
When I want to drink I remember the buzz is short and the negatives are long to forever.
There are better, natural, ways to get high without using mind altering drugs.
I love black coffee too. That bitter has a nice edge plus the caffeine and anti oxidants.
Thanks.