New today
Hi,
I've lurked on here for a few months trying to get the courage to post and previously a few years ago for a few months. I went to my first AA meeting today and met a someone on the way in who took me aside and gave me courage to enter the room. He is the only reason i have the courage to post now. I sat through the meeting listening and relating crying and feeling like I wanted to die. The guy I mentioned related how his reason for attending his first meeting was how he was thinking how he could give a speech at his (current age 6) daughters wedding in ~25 years time. I wept. I couldnt stop. I' ve 3 daughters 11, 10 & 6. The meeting at the start i couldnt wait to finish. At the end I didnt want it to stop. I related to so many preople from all walks of life in terms of alcohol was astounding to me.
My wife doesnt know. She knows I drink too much. Commented on it so much I started to drink secretly. Hiding the empties, rotating the location to purchase the booze etc. All the cliches. I recently realised if i didnt change I'd have no money to buy Christmas gifts. So i started to drink the cheapest sh1t i could. Rock bottom.
Dry wretching all day long just to get home to chug down the rot gut stuff I'd bought.
I've an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow for my drinking, he told me not to go cold turkey but he would explain. I've another AA meeting with the lovely people i met today on Friday and I cant wait but I struggling to badly. Anyway thanks for all the super threads for inspiration I hope I can live up to some of them.
Phil.