I reached a point where I was no longer a hostage/victim but a volunteer. I continued the choice to remain in the dysfunction out of my own fear, obligation and guilt.
My fear was that if I was not around he might OD and die – truth was I was at work 8-10 hours a day and asleep for 5-7 a night where at any of those times he could have OD’d and there would have been nothing at all I could have done to prevent it so my thinking of not being able to leave because that might happen was very distorted because that’s what living with active addiction does to us.