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Briansy ~
Selfishness is your friend. Or, *Selfishness* as some on the outside looking in on your Sobriety would interpret it.
My experience was that I had keep peeling back the layers, and reassess situations from a totally different perspective. I'm possibly 2x your age, but the Social challenges - which finally become pretty effortless - remain. We had a Gal Pal's Daughter invite us out to their Beach-side Wedding. Wealthy In-Laws from Carmel California. Tattooed, 30-something 'Kids' getting really high [the marrying Couple, and their Circle-of-Friends]. I tried to work my attendance via every coping mechanism I could; including my Wife going out alone. Ultimately, we opted to not attend. As my fav Bumper Sticker from Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream goes:
'If It Not's Fun, Why Do It?'
^^^ Gospel, that one...
As you read on SR, having an Exit Strategy after a [Fizzy Water] Toast at a Wedding can be critical, and Sobriety-saving. Me, I worked up my BS lines to deliver in any number of situations so that they would roll off my Tongue. For the Lunch situation, fake some 'new Drug' that you're taking for a few Months that your Doc suggests you not mix with Booze. Fake a set of Yearly Medical Tests you're cleaning out your System for. *Whatever*.
This Sobriety thing has these Tentacles that reach out many directions. That is, one has to become adept at coping effortlessly in a Drinking World. Or, so it seems; even though Drinking is not so widespread as we sometimes believe. It's also true that lots of Folks could not care less if we drink. That awkward, introspective POV is just us thinking we're oddities for not Drinking.
All this jockeying and coping and white-lies-telling adaptation is simply part of the Game, as I finally approached it. So, I decided to master it; not be bummed or daunted by it. Finally, it becomes irrelevant. As BJ1 notes, if a situation is gonna be [too much] work, I can't be bothered anymore. See the Ben & Jerry's Slogan above. I'm not on this Earth to be happy and Sober for others. Only for me. Hence, the concept of a 'healthy' Selfishness. I don't sweat squat anymore. The positive flip side? I greatly enjoy the many other Events I do take part in.
You're doing well, so keep up that expertise and confidence as you plow through the next steps of Sobriety. 'Tis absolutely worth it!
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