Originally Posted by
Meadow123 
i am so stupid. i feel so guilty. therapist said the things he said are abusive and not deserved no matter the issue in the relationship. i miss him.. i am stupid.
Meadow, I highly recommend that you go to the AlAnon website and look for meetings near you. Keep trying different ones until you find a group meeting that feels inspiring - you'll find one. This is much bigger than dismissing him as a flawed person and a therapist can only help so much. If you feel so drawn to this man, yet so painfully conflicted about it, a life program like AlAnon is going to give you many more tools and resources than a weekly one-hour talk with a therapist (which will continue to be helpful.) I strongly encourage you to reach out and find a group meeting that feels safe, supportive and most importantly, offers you a light on your pathway. This is huge - don't go it alone. You have many friends that you haven't met yet!