Originally Posted by
CentralOhioDad 
Peace and serenity are beautiful things. When AW went on a couple of business trips, it was the best time in years with no drama.
You don't mention if/what the responses were from her about you sending the pics/vids? Did she even care?
Ya know, I would rather be a single parent (which I pretty much am anyway), than a 'co-parent' with an alcoholic in the house. The alcoholic drama far outweighs any assistance she can provide.
Update:
AW was released from in-patient treatment to a sober living facility at the end of last week.
CDO: Yes, she's thanked me for the photos/videos and she did call DS Sunday night at bed time. At first, he didn't want to talk to her - which I think is normal; but after a few moments he did talk to her.
She said she' call Monday night, but did not. However, I'm not about to attribute that to "not caring" - at least not yet. As I see it, as long as she IS seeking treatment for her disease that IS (and ought to be) her #1 priority. If she didn't call because she was "in treatment" (e.g., going to an AA meeting, talking to a shrink, or just feeling ****** from a bad day dealing with her own issues ...) - I'm ok with that. I wouldn't rag on her for missing a telephone call because she was in, say, chemo or felt ****** from a full day of chemo. Do you follow??
Don't get me wrong - it sucks for DS. I told him mom might call at about his bedtime and she didn't. His 4 y.o. brain can't really grasp that a sick person sometimes can't keep his/her promises - if she just "blew it off" that's different. But that's not what my gut tells me. When she's sober and on her meds, she is, in fact, a really, really good mom.
The hardest part is when DS says "I hate mommy." "Mommy is dead ... that was fake mommy." He sometimes even says he hates me and that "I'm fired" and "we're all fired" (including his older sister whom he adores).
Clearly he is mad at (well, pick the issue, right??) and he lacks the vocabulary to discuss his feelings. I mean *all* feelings and emotions are new and strange to a 4 y.o., right?? I mean, *I* have difficulty with my emotions sometimes and I've got 50+ years on him.
I just wish I had a better way of helping him. His daycare is offering free play therapy through a pilot program with a local university. And I'm in the process of getting him set up with that. Still, as a parent, you feel so lost sometimes.
Depending upon how I'm feeling, I just say to him one of the following:
1. DS, I still love you (which turns into a "no you don't" vs. "yes I do" 4 y.o. back and forth).
2. DS, what you say hurts my feelings (e.g., when he says he "hates" me), but I still love you.
If anyone has any other suggestions, I'm all ears.
MCE Saint