I think the worst of it is over. All I thought was how I wanted my mother. I am not troubling this eoman I have tormented with worry with my crap anymore. I focused on the fact that she is still around and that she loves me.
I have really realized this last week that I am still terrified of a drink. FFFF that stuff. I dont even remember my last load. But I want no parts. I feel strong. Not giving this up ever again.
I also feel profoundly sad bc I have a naby I would give absolutely anything to be with. Im not sure what this juxtaposition is to mean. Im sure it'll be revealed? Maybe not. I don't know...intense thinky/feely time. Not gonna lie ive been ocerly comforting with food. I can do anything in addict fashion. Work. Shop. Scratch offs. Love. Sex. I handily can be a chameleon in and out of all of thisr. I do that daily!! Lol. I'm a mess. But I am better than ok .
I love you guys Thank you all for the support.
Particularly Anna saying we do hard things.
We do. We can and we do.
Good stuff.
Jules