Thread: I feel anxious.
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Old 11-17-2018, 10:52 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Glenjo99
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by trailmix View Post
Well that's normal. You say "it's the thought of the unknown". Then make it "known". As several have suggested here, that's completely up to you.

Now, in every situation you play in your mind there is another person there so I am sure there are some what-ifs. What if I politely say, how are you, how are the AA meetings going? He says they are great do you want to go out to lunch, I miss you so much.

There is no scenario here you can't control. He says he misses you, you say, "I'm glad things are going well for you, take care" or "sorry things aren't going so well, hang in there". In fact you can use those lines for pretty much anything he says. Then walk away. If he persists, say "take care" again.

It doesn't have to be a full engagement in conversation, in fact it doesn't even have to make sense. He says, how have you been and you answer as above, not a "normal" conversation but who cares.

As for him possibly "being around" I understand that, I felt that way after the Narc moved away and he definitely wasn't in the same place. I found with time that went away. Remember that is your city, your place, you live there, take your power on that, he can't hurt you.

For months now your focus has been you, how about going back to that? Get back to your routines, your podcasts your reading.

Thanks really appreciate the suggestions. Live in a small town and a friend rang me tonight. Her husband is in AA and he told her that my ex was at a meeting this morning, literally 10 mins from where I live. (I realise he shouldn't have said anything but you know what small towns are like). I'll be honest it was good to hear he's attending meetings. Then I got all anxious again at the thoughts of him being around and not contacting me. I know I know call me crazy but I'm not in here to lie. I need to be able to say how I'm feeling. I went off for a walk to help with anxiety and cried whole way around, luckily it was dark out. I feel like it's happening all over again, as much as I know in my head NC is way to go for myself, I feel like I'm loosing him all over again. Does this make any sense at all, or am I just nuts.
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