I was shocked to find out that all of my ultimatums, and all that I did to try to get my ex husband to stop using drugs meant NOTHING to the court. In their eyes I was just as guilty as him, if not more so. If I could do things differently, I would have done everything I could from the very beginning to show the COURT that he had an addiction, and that I would not allow the kids around him until it was being treated. That means actually filing divorce and notifying the court of the issue. Because when you come to them and say, "This has been going on for years", YOU are guilty of failure to protect. If he wants to change his ways, he can always do that AFTER papers are filed. Just my two cents.