Hey Glenjo,
So, I think I get that. Although obviously not a romantic relationship, I wonder how I would react if I see my stepson again.
I look at it this way. I get to decide how I will react. I am in control of how I handle the situation and what happens on my end. I can't control where he is or what he does.
So, instead of thinking of it as though I am being buffeted by circumstances, I think of what I can do--what concrete actions could I take? Why should I give over that power to someone else--because if I let it upset me, that is what I would be doing--handing over my control to another person.