Mind-Games Again
I thought it had been longer since I posted anything on this site - since 2017. I am beginning to think that my addict husband has never really stopped using crack. It kills me to think this because I feel like I've invested so much. The fact that I am visiting this site again should give me all of the confidence I need to confirm that he is using again, but hes so good at making me think that I am crazy and he's clean and sober.
Recently, he found out an old friend is dying of cancer, so he traveled 6 hours to see this guy - ended up staying 3 nights. Now, this guy was 100 percent one of his old drug buddies, but the hasn't spoken to this old friend in 15 years. I assumed this friend is dying and not thinking about running around using crack... but im beginning to wonder.
Then, another guy who has been in and out of jail for dealing coke, stealing, B and E's, assault on police officers has recently been calling and texting my Husband out of the blue. When I asked why he was inviting this guy back into his life, he lied. When he lied, I let it go and then asked about it later because it was bothering me so much. He freaked out and called me every mean name you can think to call someone. REALLY downright hateful things, then he asked for a divorce...??
Next day, he's acting like nothing ever happened. 'Then I tells me the he DID lie about how he got back in touch with this guy and that explanation seemed a little far-fetched as well.
I found out from my brother-in-law that my husband told him that he can't get "high" off of marijuana anymore. What does this mean when I person can't get high off pot anymore?
Lately, he's mad at everyone and everything. Hes making everyone MISERABLE around him and I cannot understand why he is so upset all of the time, then he calls me in tears because the basement flooded a little because of rain...it floods often so this is not new. 46 year old man literally crying like a baby because its raining.....meanwhile I am at work trying to wrap my mind around why he's so emotional!!
He has so bills, works when he wants and is pissed at the whole world. When he has to help with the kids, he says he's wasting his day to take them to grandmas house or to an activity. He makes them feel horrible every moment hes around them. I work everyday and cannot remember when I had a day off because I am the only one working. I am so tired and just cannot do this anymore. I used to try to track down his whereabouts, get mad at his mother for enabling him, try to control him so he won't use. I just don't care anymore, but now I need to find a place to live with 3 kids because he will not leave the house...HELP!! Any words of wisdom/kindness are greatly appreciated.