The first time I found this site, I was newly married and problem drinking. Periodically through the years, I’ve come back wondering if I have a problem. I typically spin into cycles of drinking heavily after stressful events like my parents’ divorce, miscarriages, or the like. I’ve been pregnant 5 times in 7 years and have 3 living children whose existence helped me gain long stretches of soberity. In the past year, I can’t make the sober goals I set, like a month sober. I find myself able to take down a bottle of wine by myself and then some. I’m on day 11, and I’m so incredibly irritable. I’m afraid if I don’t make a step like signing up here I won’t make it through the holidays because I’m too afraid to admit to others I have a problem. Thanks for listening.