I’m a big believer in the benefits of counseling. My family and I have been through a lot, and most of us have sought counseling at some point along the way. It might take a bit of shopping around to find a good fit, but it’s worth looking into.
in the meantime, drinking and drugs won’t help you find any kind of clarity that you seek; they just muddy up your thinking and add to feelings of confusion and low self worth.
It gets better.