Andy,
That sounds a brilliant way to involve and validate your son's feelings and help him grieve. How'd the revue with the Physical Terrorists go?
Mags,
When in retirement you realize that it isn't vacation, so you won't have it end until you do. Once you stop feeling like you are on holiday, then you've adapted and can take every day as a holiday with no guilt. It took me a year of driving in a hurry in the RV until I slowed down and never drove more than 200 miles a day. It really isn't the destination, but the trip. As long as you stop and smell the life in every area and dally with nature.
PJ,
Riiiight. Some folks do concrete a lot of it and some houses we are looking at have more than most, We like the terraced above ground gardening and piddling around in the yard. Remember it's the Colorado Rocky Mountain high! We do want a covered deck front and back and a sun room. You see, many of the places we look at have HOA fees that take care of the front landscaping, in some cases even more, along with trash pickup and sewer. I could do a tiny house if I were single, or a condo. My SH must nest, and she's earned it, I benefit too.
Mags,
We all define who we are by what we do. I went from being a military senior leader with the authority to give and enforce orders affecting lives. One day I could pick up a phone start a construction project or order our munitions inventoried. And the next day civilians were not responsive or accountable when I tried to get things awry righted. It is like floating unable to anchor to anything. It took a year, but today, 20 years after I retired from the military, I still miss the camaraderie and getting things done and done right with motivated troops. I could develop people in spite of themselves, they couldn't quit or be insubordinate! That was another life. Funny though even now, people ask if I was military retired. Many folks who've been around or in the military recognize that bearing in our posture. I see it too sometimes. I've adapted to retirement, but not to civilians who have little loyalty or honor code in their business dealings. I regularly hear of folks shoplifting a CD or other nothing item for under a few bucks! Their honor is cheap, they sell it for pocket change if they think they can get away with it. I won't lie cheat or steal, or tolerate anyone who does. It's not that hard. Sober.
Wolf,
Is your FIL local to you to visit with? If so just play whatever board/card/Chess/word games he likes. If distant then just be an ear. Validate his feelings and let him work out his own solutions is all I can think of.
2AM and feels like three since we moved all the clocks back an hour last Saturday night early Sunday morn.
Nite all.