Hi all.

I used to frequent these boards last year when I was going through a tough time with my alcoholic DH. He was at his lowest point, our marriage was barely hanging on, and I asked him to get help. He eventually did and joined an outpatient recovery program for 6 months and transitioned to AA after that.

During this time things gradually got much better. I healed. I was able to trust him again. I forgot about the hurt feelings and anger. Our family life with our two kids was much happier.

He started off attending 2 different AA meetings a week (recommended by the program), but life got busy so he went down to 1. The last few months he'd forget to attend the 1 meeting and soon it was only once a month.

Well, 4 weeks ago, just short of being sober 1 year, he relapsed. I had read there was a good chance this could happen so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He said he would attend meetings again and talk with his sponsor. He's been attending meetings, but the drinking continues every weekend.

ALL those feelings I previously had came back: distrust, worry, hurt, anger, loneliness. All of my skills for detecting when he has been drinking are unfortunately still top notch (was hoping to never have to use them again). All of his straight-up lying to me and denying he is drinking is back. It's really like we are exactly back where we started and nothing has changed.

I wasn't prepared for this relapse to last this long. I thought if it happened he'd realize he made a mistake and stop it right away. Now I think: is this a hopeless situation? Was the treatment program a waste? Wasn't he supposed to learn the tools to get himself back on track? Doesn't he remember what things were like before when they were so bad? Why does he want to go through this again?

I'm not sure what to expect here. Before at least I had some hope a program would help him. Now I just don't know what will and what the next steps should be.

Thanks for reading.