UPDATE: Yesterday evening, I returned from a restful weekend away with my family to find a few worthless odds and ends that must've missed the move piled up by my apartment door. And my first reaction to it was to .... laugh? Yes, I laughed. I've been moving through the grieving process, shedding tears and layers but in the last 17 days of NC I've been moving forward slowly and feeling lighter. I mean, I was gonna survive without that flower pot!
I have continued to block all other contact from him (phone and email). I did talk to his aunt when I dropped off boxes. She was wonderful and I felt like I was more able to move forward at least knowing someone in the family was aware of this issue since he is such a loner. We both agreed he wasn't going to do anything until he was good and ready (and she well understood his traits that make that less likely - my ex was at heart very insecure and obsessed with being right), but I do not regret sharing - even if I had struggled with it being a last act of manipulation. I think where I landed on that was if I had intended to stay in his life someway, perhaps. But I'm walking away so I really don't have anything to gain here (and I also mentioned my own flaws in not walking earlier to her. I tried to give a "fair" picture).
Anyway, I plan on checking in weekly here and hopefully to add my own two cents when I see people in similar situations. There are still some mornings where I wake up and it feels like I've buried someone but I'm realizing I'm a lot stronger than I was and that he did me a great favor by taking himself out of my life. (And hopefully the front door drop offs will now cease).