Hi there- I read your post a few times, akrasia. I am so sorry for your pain.
I think there has been some excellent thoughts shared already....
And I just have to add that when I have found myself in a situation or relationship of some kind that required a lot of detail to share with others, a lot of what was trying to express that there were "two sides" to the whole thing....I really knew it wasn't good for me, usually in multiple ways, and was grasping for reasons it was actually ok.
It caused me lots of pain and emotional drama. I hope you can put some distance if this might be the very same outcome for you.