RanilGort

Hi everyone,

As sobriety ticks on for months now, a week ago I had enormous cravings to go back to drinking. It came out of nowhere, for months everything seemed to be fine and then it hit me. What should we do? That is a question we might find ourselves facing many times throughout our own sobriety.

I noticed my own cravings were tied heavily to things I could not control in my life, just like the first day when i decided to quit once and for all, yet again i had to openly admit that to myself. Oh, what would drinking do for me compared to months of sobriety? A few hours of mindless ''fun'', am I really willing to relapse and give up months of total sobriety?

No I was not, though the decision wasn't easy, and I know it is the same for most of us. I think what i'm realizing more and more is that we have to be vigilant and always dare to feel our own cravings even if they try to tempt us to relapse, atleast it is a skill we might want to keep developing; that ability to just feel the craving and not give into it and dissect the whole thing mentally.

That is how i would describe what I personally do, if i ever find myself craving alcohol i dissect it mentally, I look at it from multiple angles and as i do it, I see how pointless it really is. one part wants to go back, but the other part does not, which side will win? I guess the one we focus our attention on and the best weapon in our arsenal is our ability to dissect the illusion of relapse, it makes us believe it will solve something, but the only thing that will ever solve any form of craving or suffering is total acceptance of life itself and the up's and down's we face. You wouldn't be drinking if you were truly happy with your own existence, even though we might falsely assume we drink to celebrate, real happiness is self begotten and exists only within the mind and not in a physical substance, try to grasp the beauty of this and you will discover where to search for it.

This removes the tendency to want to fight everything that is going wrong and we mistakenly think we are fighting and solving our problems by drinking all over again. Simply because it numbs the mind of the awareness of our own problems and cravings, a never ending cycle until finally the kiss of death has come upon you.

Remember the power of your own mind and keep exercising it, like muscles in our bodies grow stronger if we train them, so the mind will become stronger in dealing with cravings if we learn to look at our own cravings differently over and over again.

Let us keep sobriety going and if you slipped back, keep studying and informing yourself until it one day sticks and you catch yourself indulging in cravings both mentally and possibly physically and then you dare say: I Am aware of this craving, but I won't indulge. (I won't obey this insidious voice any longer, the whole universe will be my witness, that is my determination)

Kind regards,
Ranil