Originally Posted by
AutumnMama 
i think you’re right. Is that a normal thing to do...? Is it common in relationships?
I think everyone has their personal quirks or things which irritate them a bit about their partner. I think healthy people are able to say to themselves "Okay, quirk X bugs me but is it a really big deal? No, in the grand scheme of things it is not. Therefore I recognize that the fact that it irritates me is my issue, not a huge problem with my partner".
I also think that alcoholics are so used to projecting blame onto other people (it's YOUR fault I'm so unhappy/stressed/whatever that I drink all the time!) that they keep projecting blame outwards even when it's really something minor - it bothered me that you didn't sew the button on my shirt, so it must be YOUR fault that I feel bothered.