Have you thought about renting your home? That would generate extra income, and could buy you time to address repairs, etc. You have the added benefit of being an attorney, which can be intimidating to renters who are looking to get one over on a landlord.
If you do get custody of the children you could pursue child support.
Can you get her removed from COBRA? That might save you some on the insurance expense.
Is your wife on the deed to the property? Is she on the titles/registration on any vegicles? Do you have any joint bank accounts that she has access to?