He disappears for weeks at a time and doesn’t tell me where he goes.
That’s a common behavior for many addicts and a big reason why relationships with them will not workout.
And then continues on with his ways like nothing he does affects other people
.
Other people only matter to active addicts when they are useful to them, money, a roof over their head, food, etc. etc.
I admit,we have had some explosive fights because of his actions and he holds every single word I’ve said out of anger,against me.
Yup, that’s another common behavior of addicts.
I can’t have an intimate relationship with him because he shoots up drugs and I’m afraid of catching a disease from him.
Very smart!
And when I finally decide to move on he messages me telling me he needs me and that he wants to come home and he will try fixing things.
And how many times has that happened now? How many time has be fixed things?
The best way to leave is of course safely, use the police if you must, a restraining order if you must if he comes and harasses or threatens you.
Going no contact, blocking him so that his “words” of he needs you can’t have an emotional impact on you.
You might think this is coldhearted and many might not agree with me but if I were in your position knowing what I know today I would not put his name on my child’s birth certificate. I would accept that I will be raising the child alone and without any financial, emotional or physical support from an active disappearing drug addict.