I’m sorry, I know how hard it is to share a child with an addict. And to come to the realization that you will not be the happy family you wanted & the life you envisioned for yourself is not reality. I think the first part is accepting the situation as it is. The baby is not going to make him change...sad, but true. Take it from me, it is extremely difficult to raise a newborn & have an addict that you are also taking care of/ worrying about, etc. Your baby needs you to be safe & healthy. You are all the baby has. Figure out a way to put space & time between you & him & things will become more clear. I know it is overwhelming to deal with all that you are...one day at a time. You are strong. You can do this.