I think, at least for me, I tend to lose sight that it's ok that it's just progress. That I don't have to figure this all out in a day.
So much of my early sobriety was about life and death and trying to make sure I made the right decision that I didn't self destruct.
In a way, i walked out of the first year a bit shell shocked that things quieted down so fast.
Especially when the compulsions and the nightmares and the ptsd slowed down and the monkey was off my back, I was like "what the fu%k do i do now?
Even now...2.5+ years into this journey I STILL haven't returned to work professionally. I know I want to. I need to carve out a legacy and make the mark I started in my 20s. That's scary. Very overwhelming at times.
I stayed up all night, the night before last, wondering what I was going to do professionally. I know what to do.
It's not the work that scares me. The work becomes mindless. It's the business side I hate. Always have, always will. However, it's a necessity nowadays. Especially in the entertainment business.
So it'll be just like sobriety. Too fu%king scary to look at the big picture...but one day at a time. I can probably do that just fine.
i was watching a show about Navy seals the other day. An this guy talked about when he was scaling a cliff and he got freaked out and he froze. His platoon leader came down to him and told him to focus on 2 inches in front of him...that's all he could control and just keep his focus there. An he did...and he made it to the top. It's very similar on how i approach a huge piece of art. I never try to see it as a complete picture...just pieces of a bigger puzzle a few inches a few feet at a time and before you know it, i've painted this huge cohesive painting that looks like it was done all at once.
Like what's that football movie where Al Pachino is the head coach and he says that football like life is a game of inches. I think that's the best way I can look at things so I don't get overwhelmed.
I think what's harder than doing is always starting. ...no matter what it is. So while this new chapter in my life is pretty scary, it's not as scary as early sobriety.