Hi Kiki
I felt like a fake most of my life - I think a lot of us drinkers do.
it was only by quitting drinking and looking hard at myself I turned that around.
You're clearly not a fake - you're committed to change and you've come a long way already - it's normal to feel doubt sometimes but it's not for nothing that they say keep doing the next right thing.
As for God - I got sober as an agnostic - all I needed to accept was that if I was the most powerful thing in the universe I was in serious trouble...
All I needed to believe was that there was a power greater than me, and I found that in my fellow alcoholics and this community.
D