Hi Free. Thank you for replying. I will try search out the post when no get time. I tried drinking in moderation for years but found that I would reward myself for 'normal drinking with a little more alcohol. It wasn't long before I was drinking to much, to often again. I'm frustrated with myself right now because I was very proud of 2 years sober. I think that is why I'm so low. I don't miss the alcohol nearly as much as I miss the sobriety. I guess I'm lucky to that extent. A high work load meant I stopped going to the gym and my diet has been affected. Those 2 things alone I will be fixing straight away. They are the key to my wellbeing and as a consequence, my urge to drink was practically non existent. A good diet and exercise are so crucial for me personally.
As to why I drank. Tricky one. I don't really know what flicked that switch. It's still their though, I can feel it. I've done this before and I will do it again. I'm going to force myself to go to the gym for a run.