I will send up a prayer for you. You can get through this.
I agree with walking into a hospital, and then doing everything they suggest. Also, if you're in the US, open enrollment for state funded insurance is coming up Nov. 1, so you could look into that. Hospitals can help get you enrolled, as well.
There are many people who want to help you if you let them. Walking into an AA meeting or a local church can put you on the path to healing.
https://www.healthcare.gov/blog/when...en-enrollment/