Originally Posted by NerfThis

Sorry to hear about the bad interview and that you're drinking again.

It unfortunately sounds like you want to drink more than you want to be sober. I had suspicions when you said you were in the wine aisle looking at your favourite wine and mentioned thinking of drinking after the interview to celebrate. You still think of alcohol as a reward for something rather than a danger.

Sobriety will be an impossible challenge for you until you swap those around. Consequences may not seem life threatening now, but they will be eventually.