Originally Posted by
CentralOhioDad 
Well, they are masters of manipulation and quite good at deflection and deceit. What they ultimately want to do is protect their ability to drink, so if they keep you off-guard enough, then you are going to start to think it's YOU that has the problem, and stop going after them. It's self-preservation, though we know that ultimately it is self-destruction.
When you say, if they keep you off guard enough, you are going to think its you. What do you mean by keeping you off guard? Is this the same as gaslighting?