Originally Posted by
Valentia 
I'm a Newcomer, as well, but have read your prior posts. As I've said to the other veterans here, thank you for sharing! I wish I wasn't part of this "club", but the support and education here at SR has helped me tremendously.
All the best to you!
Yes, we grow up wanting to 'fit in' and be a part of something, and then we end up here!! Be careful what you wish for!!
But this place has been a tremendous help over time, though I fully wanted to resist at first!! And resist I did.. I mean, what did these (mostly) women know what "I" was going thru!?!?!? I mean, seriously, I was in a 'special situation', my home life was different. Found out I ain't that special! And was told that over-and-over again!! Sometimes brusquely! But I listened, and I learned.
My AW has a habit of thinking that a toilet is a play to pass out - and she does not deny that she does it, regularly!! No one in their right mind, or even my UN-right mind, would construe this as normal behavior. But she does.
Before I posted today, I looked back and wondered if I had actually made progress in the last 6+ years, and I found I had. I can handle her wacky sh*t better than when I initially came here. Now, I still wake up EVERY night about 60-120 minutes after I go to bed, and my body does that so I can go downstairs and turn off the lights, that way if DS gets up in the middle of the night to go potty, he won't know she's passed out somewhere. In the 'old days', it would have really made me mad that she did that, and then I'd be awake seething for the next 1-2 hours, and then be tired and cranky the next day. Last night she passed out again on the toilet. I woke up at 11:30, went downstairs to turn off lights, found her on the toilet, got my phone and took a pic, turned off the lights, and was back asleep in less than 5 minutes!! Progress!
When she goes into one of her rants, I now can more easily walk away from them, say I'm tired, say whatever, and go to bed and get a good sleep. Someone here (I think it was Sasha1972) said that when someone is verbally berating you, especially an incoherent alkie, to act like they are talking to someone behind you, and not directly at you - because it's their hate at themselves and the world for why they spew venom, it's probably not really you. Or, on most occasions anymore, I get a smirk on my face - realizing that she is extremely pathetic, and I know she's full of it. Although the smirk does ted to set her off even more, but at least I stay calmer throughout.
So, I guess I have made some sort of progress. Now I just need to take the next steps and get me and DS away from her, permanently.
COD