Originally Posted by
fightingfair 
I wish I could get rid of the part that feels so sorry that someone can hate himself this much though.
That I could've inspired him to pull himself back from the brink is the belief system I really need to leave behind. But how does one do it without becoming numb to others or building huge walls?
Nothing wrong with feeling sympathy for someone who is hurting, of course.
The fact is, no one can change this for him except him. No one can change anyone else. Your example of living a "better" way would be totally lost on him, he is doing things his way.
In fact your quitting drinking and furthering your fitness might even have triggered him. He at least had a semi-drinking buddy, now not even that!
The truth is, he would have to sober up, seek recovery from alcoholism, , find counselling and probably years of it to make a recovery. But again, he would have to want to do that and that's not the case here.
As for becoming numb to others or building walls, neither is necessary. All you have to do is accept the above, no one can change anyone else (nor should you want to really). The key is to accept people just the way they are.