I'll just add, that I can relate to the feeling sorry for him thing. As much as you will be given excellent advice in life about it's a blessing in disguise etc, it still doesn't stop the feelings. I realise a lot of the negative things about the situation I detached from, does it stop me missing him or wanting a deep emotional chat with him, like we used, not one bit.
"That explains to me why it was delivered almost as calmly and rationally as if he was making a business decision". I witnessed my ex do that many times and it's chilling. Not like as you said the deep way he used to chat.