Hello , Friends!!
So, I heard that you guys were asking about me since I disappeared for a while, and then the thread got shut down - sorry about that!! Be it known that I REALLY appreciate the thoughtfulness of you guys and wondering how I'm doing. I finally have a minute at work to sit down and give an update of my goings-on since I last posted sometime who-knows-when.
When I logged in today, I saw lots of new posters here, names I do not recognize. Welcome to you, and I hope you stick around and have an open mind to hear/read the sometimes harsh realities from the 'veterans' who know, and care, so much. The pill is sometimes bitter, but we all come at it from a place of wanting to spare you the kinds of things that we've already endured, and/or still enduring (in my case!). This forum has gotten me through so many ups, and downs over the past 6+ years, I appreciate all of you.
So, on to my home life: since I don't remember where I left things with you all, I'll give a quick recap. Filed for divorce back in January, the week AW was going to be served, her mother died. Even though AW thinks I'm the biggest
pr*ck in the universe, I postponed service and let her grieve. Her drinking did not pick up any more than before, but she definitely was even more depressed. I was as supportive as I could be, but after 6 years of this, my compassion level, in regards to her, is almost nil. Obviously, whatever I do is NEVER enough for her, so I'm still the biggest
pr*ck in the world.
Late spring came and I began coaching DS8's baseball team, so that kept me VERY busy, and things at work were hectic, so I was in a better place not worrying about AW and her daily antics. I suggested to AW that she see someone about her depression and the unresolved issues with her life growing up ACoA - but naturally she is a special snowflake ad no one understands her or what she's been through or how to help her - anyway, she can handle everything on her own, she doesn't need any help. (sounds like a typical A, right??). One night I heard a thud and I come down and she is face-first on the kitchen floor. The next morning I say something to her and her response is: "I was tired and fell asleep!! Can't I just be f-ing tired without you always getting on my case?" Umm, lots of people get tired, and no one I know has ever face-planted themselves on the kitchen floor! There's that snowflake again!
About a week or so later, she is leaning over the kitchen island passed out, but standing up. Around 9:45 I hear a loud bang, wait about 5 minutes, and go downstairs. She has fallen backwards against the cabinet doors under the sink, out cold. She appeared to be breathing, so I let her be. (Before joining SR, I would have frantically woken her up to check on her, now I let her sorry a$$ lie there). The next morning When I go downstairs, I realize the has busted out the front of the cabinet. I said, "So, what happened there?" She said, "I know you don't give a sh*t about me, but my back, head, and butt hurt!" I said, if it was an 'accident', then I would be concerned, but we both know it wasn't. She called me later in the day and said that she's not handling her mother's death well, and will call her EAP. (To note: as of today, 10/23/18 - I do not believe that has happened). I also gave her our EAP number since she has benefits under my company. Of course, after those bumps wore off, she probably never did any follow up.
Over the past week she is ramping up her drinking again to the tune of 1.5 bottles of wine /night. This, coming on the heels of proclaiming just 3 weeks ago that she was "only going to drink on the weekends, and exercise EVERY day!!" Umm, the exercising lasted less than 2 weeks, and abstaining a full work-week only happened the first week - every week the work-week gets shorter and shorter!! By this week I'm sure no breaks will take place. She even had to suck down a half-bottle of wine before going to the high school football game with me and DS last Friday. I will revisit the whole divorce thing after the first of the year.
So to sum it up - she's still a train wreck, and most likely progressing into a bigger train wreck. The good news is, thru my 'training' here at SR, it doesn't affect me as much as it used to, I can handle things better. The bad part is - living in Ohio and with my SAD kicking in, not sure how I am going to do going forward thru the winter season.
Now, on to me!! Life has been VERY busy both at home and at work, so I have spent no time around this forum, and I need to. In the spring we started baseball, and being the head coach with two worthless assistants, was challenging!! But, we only lost one game during the regular season, and made it to the championship game, which was lost by just two runs!! This happened after having a team with several kids having zero baseball experience, I was proud of them. After the regular season, I was tapped to coach an all-star tournament, of which DS was a part, and then to coach two tournament teams after that! This took me all the way to the end of July. After all of that, I was kinda ready for a break from baseball, which lasted exactly four weeks when we started fall ball! This time I hand-picked two guys who became my assistants, so we had fun and had a pretty successful season based on the fact we had even less talent than I had in the spring!
DS tried out for, and was accepted to, two travel baseball teams for next spring! He could only choose one, and I feel he made the right choice. Oh, and he made a triple play this summer at one of the games! In my many years of life on this earth, I have never seen a triple play at any level, including the pros! And he did it all just on instinct (or good coaching from me over the years!!
) I was proud of him.
We also found out that he was designated as gifted in math, science, and reading just recently. In turn, he is getting additional work and tutoring at school along with some other kids. This was awesome news. I knew he was seeing some special teachers outside of his regular class, but didn't know why. We found out the day of our teacher conference a couple of weeks ago. He's really good kid, dad is VERY proud of who he is, and who he is becoming. He still sings in the church choir, and is now helping younger kids, even though he's only in his second year. He can actually focus when he wants to!!
Anyway, for an Introvert, that was a lot of stuff coming out, but I know some of you have been wondering about me, and that warms my heart. I'll try to stick around more often and keep up with things, but I can't guarantee that - but know I think about, and pray for you guys - daily.
COD
