Originally Posted by
hummingbird358 
Update.... was doing fine for a few days and now back deep into depression and self harm (cutting). Feels like human garbage. shame/guilt - no hope
I don't know what to say. Is still sober and going to aa meetings but not like before due to depression weighing him down.
I know this is his battle but it hurts as a mom to have him feeling like this and be so far away. It is his choice not to do sober living, not to tell the counselor about his self harm - (Fears they will commit him to a mental hospital).
I know not to give advice because he won't listen and this has to be his battle. The pain hurts though knowing he is not in a good place.
Not sure how long the meds take to work or if they will even work if the shame and guilt is what is causing this. Depression led to self harm in the beginning then alcohol came into the pic and self harm stopped... now that booze is out, self harm is back.
I don't know a lot about self-harm and how it develops, but I understand it is a form of self-soothing, like alcohol can be, and without the alcohol it may come as no surprise that he is engaging in these behaviors again.
Medication for depression or other mental disorders can take a trial and error approach as well as time to work for an individual. Just because one option is not working for him does not mean that others will fail, too. If he's not getting therapy for the reasons behind his behavior, that reduces the chances of success also. I can understand his hesitation about entering a hospital setting, though I've not been through that myself, either. He really needs to be under the close supervision of medical and mental professionals nonetheless, IMO.