How much did I miss?
As I'm folding laundry this morning after waking up sober on a beautiful Sunday I found a sheet that is unfamiliar to me. I had taken laundry that wasn't mine. It was a bunch of sheets. I returned them but today I was folding a sheet that I don't think is mine. I have a foggy recollection or maybe not, I can't tell as I've been living in a haze for so long, the doormen asking if I had missed anything when I gave back the sheets. This was months ago and to be honest I don't even know if that really even happened. I'm also not really sure if the sheet isn't mine but I don't think it is. This is my life as an alcoholic. I was living but not really living. I wasn't participating in my own life, my alcoholic self was.
That being said, how many other moments and parts of my life did I miss? It's sad that I missed out on a lot of things, most likely. I'm glad that I can be a participant in my life today. That I know what is happening and can remember things that occur. I'm lucky that I got out of my alcoholic haze. I didn't really want to when I got sober but once my head cleared I am clinging to my sobriety with all my might. Once my head cleared I realized the insanity I was living. I was playing Russian roulette with my body, mind and life.
Just needed to share my thoughts this morning. I am grateful that I remained sober last night and I will not drink today. 24 hours at a time, one day, one hour, one minute.