Hi there. May I ask exactly how much wine you're drinking? I ask because I find it very strange that you can go on a date or hang out with friends and NOT drink. Maybe strange isn't the right word. I guess I just can't imagine having the will power to do that. Obviously if you think you have a problem, then you do. I am certainly not a person to give out advice, but please imagine you're 52 and have been drinking since age 16. Every year that goes by, your drinking gets worse and your tolerance goes up. Your drunken escapades get worse and worse. Your shame and guilt gets to the point of mortifying. You have been arrested for drunk driving with a blood alcohol of .17 or more (in Michigan that is called "super drunk". As if getting a DUI isn't bad enough). Everyone talks and whispers about you behind your back. When you try to quit, you get the shakes and have to try and act like you don't in front of anyone. Your self esteem is non existent and your relationships with just about every person in your life are strained and stressed. You can't sleep, you don't eat right, and you're in a state of extreme depression.
I share all of these things with you because I want you to realize that you're very young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Please don't keep regretting things you've said and done while drunk. Please don't do something stupid and hurt yourself or someone else. Please don't go to jail or the cemetery. I know I'm rambling, but I would do anything to be in my 30's now and get the time back and have a do-over. I'm a lot older than you and I am giving you motherly advice.
My best friend died in an accident in July. That made me realize how life changes in an instant. You think you're invincible, but you're not.
I wish you the best of luck and hope I am not coming across to you as a know-it-all. I've just had a lot more life experience than you.